Back in 2010, Writer’s Digest published an agent roundtable about publishing memoir that’s still highly relevant today. As they evaluated potential clients, the agents agreed, they looked for three things: authorial platform, a book’s premise, and a book’s
Nice to meet you. OK, I love this, especially when you confess that "the pain of not trying to figure out how to deepen my inner story was stronger than the pain of not writing at all." My writing journey was similar, although the tension between the two created a kind of addiction, a need to write. I'd stop writing if I could get through this life without doing so. I share my own journey (not unlike yours) in my piece, "The Memoir That Loved Me."
Jane, great to meet you too and thanks for the comment. I definitely relate to what you're saying here -- there is a kind of feedback loop between writing-not writing that can feel obsessive. Still, for me, it was in seeing someone else's denial that I could look back on my own story and see the ways I'd also resisted changing. Anyhow, so glad this resonated!
Beautiful, Paul! I kept thinking as I read how grateful I am for people sharing experiences like this--like ones I’ve had and will have. It’s a gift to put this wisdom to page, helping me sit better with times I’ve balked at wise critique and shoring up my grace for future experiences. Thank you.
This is lovely, Paul. I was that summary writer of memoir who didn't think I was even a character in the story. I remember being shocked to my socks when the writing coach I'd hired told me that I was the main character in my memoir.
I think that more than being defended against critique is the fact that you often have to walk away from your work before you can see your work and hear it. On re-entry, the unwelcome critique makes sense.
I really appreciate your discussion of scenes vs summary and beginners mind when rewriting. In martial arts beginners mind is a sign of an open minded advanced student and someone who is still learning. Exactly what I hope to aspire to as a writer also. Thank you
Absolutely! I'd heard about beginner's mind in the context of meditation, but meaning exactly the same thing. I just think that word "beginner" -- the fear of "having to start over" or the fear about being far away from one's goals -- take over for many people. Thanks for the comment.
Understandable, that fear of having to start over or not being good enough is powerful. I feel like I work through that every day. Thanks for your reply.
Very well said, Paul. I wrote a memoir of a friend’s life that we just published. I felt so fortunate to have an editor experienced with memoirs to bring up some hard truths. We did get through it but it definitely took some time. Your essay hits on those blind spots we all have about ourselves.
Thanks, Kerry. Totally been there. One coach I had years ago asked me to do many of the exercises in the first part of Bill Roorbach's Writing Life Stories...I didn't like the request at the time but it proved SO helpful that I sometimes assign clients the same thing :)
Nice to meet you. OK, I love this, especially when you confess that "the pain of not trying to figure out how to deepen my inner story was stronger than the pain of not writing at all." My writing journey was similar, although the tension between the two created a kind of addiction, a need to write. I'd stop writing if I could get through this life without doing so. I share my own journey (not unlike yours) in my piece, "The Memoir That Loved Me."
Jane, great to meet you too and thanks for the comment. I definitely relate to what you're saying here -- there is a kind of feedback loop between writing-not writing that can feel obsessive. Still, for me, it was in seeing someone else's denial that I could look back on my own story and see the ways I'd also resisted changing. Anyhow, so glad this resonated!
Beautiful, Paul! I kept thinking as I read how grateful I am for people sharing experiences like this--like ones I’ve had and will have. It’s a gift to put this wisdom to page, helping me sit better with times I’ve balked at wise critique and shoring up my grace for future experiences. Thank you.
Holly, I so appreciate this. I'm glad it spoke to you!
This is lovely, Paul. I was that summary writer of memoir who didn't think I was even a character in the story. I remember being shocked to my socks when the writing coach I'd hired told me that I was the main character in my memoir.
Aww, thank you Elizabeth. In so many ways you're NOT this professor but point taken. Also, of course: Mme Bovary, c'est moi.
Hi Paul, I'm new to your Substack. I really enjoyed this essay. I really like the poise and clarity of your writing. Looking forward to more.
Jeffrey, I really appreciate the feedback. I'm so glad this resonated!
Enjoyed this, Paul! You hit all the right notes. Thank you.
Thanks, Mary Ellen!
I think that more than being defended against critique is the fact that you often have to walk away from your work before you can see your work and hear it. On re-entry, the unwelcome critique makes sense.
Good point! xx
I really appreciate your discussion of scenes vs summary and beginners mind when rewriting. In martial arts beginners mind is a sign of an open minded advanced student and someone who is still learning. Exactly what I hope to aspire to as a writer also. Thank you
Absolutely! I'd heard about beginner's mind in the context of meditation, but meaning exactly the same thing. I just think that word "beginner" -- the fear of "having to start over" or the fear about being far away from one's goals -- take over for many people. Thanks for the comment.
Understandable, that fear of having to start over or not being good enough is powerful. I feel like I work through that every day. Thanks for your reply.
Very well said, Paul. I wrote a memoir of a friend’s life that we just published. I felt so fortunate to have an editor experienced with memoirs to bring up some hard truths. We did get through it but it definitely took some time. Your essay hits on those blind spots we all have about ourselves.
Thanks, Kerry. Totally been there. One coach I had years ago asked me to do many of the exercises in the first part of Bill Roorbach's Writing Life Stories...I didn't like the request at the time but it proved SO helpful that I sometimes assign clients the same thing :)
Of course now you have me reading the book. I just started it, I'll see how far I get with the exercises. Thanks for mentioning it!
There are SO many memoir craft books of course, but this is a personal favorite. I reference the chapter on "scenemaking" all the time!